Aaron "Silky" Smith article appears in Awesome Weekly Magazine

All the news that's fit to print, he?  There was a recent interview of Aaron "Silky" Smith.  I copied and pasted it below.  I know you didn't see this article because you don't read this magazine.  Enjoy!

Awesome Weekly Magazine

11/14/08

By Ivana Schtoop

We have caught up with all-around phenom Aaron "Silky" Smith for an interview.  Here is what he had to say:

AWM: Why are you skipping the Dart Invitational?

Silky:  Why would I?  It's full of no-talent trash talkers.  I wouldn't be caught sober at that event.

AWM: Mike "Multiply" Crown is really smack talking.  What do you think?

Silky:  His nickname is "Multiply"?  I thought it was "zip my fly."  Now it makes sense.  He multiplies the pain in my caboose.

AWM:  He has already written you off from the tournament.  I'm sure you can't take that!

Silky:  He knows that if I show up that he'll think he is in Pamplona because he'll be looking over his shoulders wondering where all those bulls are coming from.  (Sheila, if you are reading this that means I will throw a lot of bullseyes.  Bullseyes are the...oh, forget it.)  Now if you'll excuse me, I am late for my parole officer meeting.

Altermatt's to replace Smith brothers

posted by rvb

I have recently been informed that John and Margaret Altermatt have decided to fill the opening created by the Smith brothers in the tournament.  I have been unable to find any verifiable background information concerning their dart prowess. They qualify under the "random Kubes' family member" clause with odds going off at 25-1.

Ken Smith missing since November 4

posted by rvb

Montana State Police continue their search for Ken Smith and vow they will not give up until they find him.   Police Chief Larry Dempster commented, "He seemed so happy right up until Tuesday, November 4, and since then he has not been heard from."  Smith's neighbor, Frank Walter, recalls hearing Smith mutter something about seeing him in 4 years.  Investigators continue to work to find a correlation.

Smith brothers to miss tourney

posted by rvb

I was able to catch up with Aaron Smith/Jason Smith earlier today to check on their status for the tournament.  " Oh yeah, we'll be there.  We purposely kept our schedule for Friday open."  When told Thanksgiving Day takes place on Thursday, Smith replied,  "Since when?" Unfortunately, both Smiths are scheduled for community service work on Thursday.

Raabe refuses to call shot

posted by rvb

Defending champion Jason "The Mechanic" Raabe refused to comment or show any bravado when pressed on whether he thought he could repeat in 08'.  "I'm just gonna go out there and do my best, no guarantees."  Looks like marriage is neutering this bull.

Pettis Feels Slighted

posted by rvb

Sheila Pettis responded to her 75-1 odds earlier in the week.  She declared, "I'm way better than Mary Jo Crown."  When asked to respond, Crown blasted back, "I brought her into this world and I can take her out."  This is getting interesting.

2008 T.D.C. Betting Odds

posted by rvb

We are a week and a half away from the annual Turkey Dart Championship and you can feel the tension building.  There will be a game change to 301 this year which should give more competitors a chance to win.  Being able to score by simply hitting the board must be welcome news to players like Mary Jo Crown.  Let's take a look at this year's odds:

THE FIELD  25-1

Anyone one is welcome to register and compete in the TDC.  As always, there is potential for a  random Kubes family member or Smith cousin that decides to come to Thanksgiving and play.  Here are a couple of possibilities.

Aaron/Jason Smith-  Will show up based on the amount of available mashed potatoes, alcohol,  and whether or not their parole officer will let them.

Ken Smith-  Hiding in a bunker in Montana after the election.  Not likely to come.

Kubes Daughters-  Katie goes to the U of M which the Badger hockey fans call a "safety school." I don't know what that means, but I think it means you are not good at darts.  Carly doesn't eat meat.  I think we all know that no vegetarian has ever won the TDC.  Blair will more than likely be recruited to play spy with Lauren, Will and Connor.

Sherwood and Anne Smith- Travel schedule is difficult to gauge.  They may just as likely be on some remote island somewhere.

THE DARK HORSES OR WHATEVER  75-1

Sheila Pettis-  Lost to "The Mechanic" in the first round last year.  Needs to get a more favorable draw to advance to the second round this year. (Like a bye for instance.)

Mary Jo Crown- Nader had a better chance to win the Presidency.

Jenny Raabe-  Lost in round one last year.  All I can remember is that she throws like a girl.

Vicki Raabe-  Could anyone else imagine a dream match up of Vicki vs. Sheila in round 1?  That would be one for the ages.

THE LONGSHOTS  50 to 1

Deb Kubes -  Will no doubt use lame "I'm pregnant" excuse if she fails to advance to second round again this year.

Glenn Crown-  Gopher football fan.  Enough said.

Curt Raabe - A no-show in last year's event.  More than likely hoping for snow to avoid an embarrassing defeat.

FOR REAL OR FLUKES  25-1

Jackie Crown-  Mofina made it to the semifinals last year.  Has watched literally 300 episodes of Grey's Anatomy in preparation for this year's event.

Tracey Raabe - From finalist in 2006 to first-round bust in 2007.  Spent the off-season in English Pubs hoping to regain the 2006 form.

THE QUARTERFINALISTS  15-1

Joe Kubes-  Could make some noise early.  Should have the home field advantage, but may be hounded to do extra Thanksgiving prep by his pregnant wife.

Dick Crown-   Has taken choking to a new level.  As described by fellow competitor "Multiplying" Mike Crown in a June interview in Dart Throwers Magazine, " This guy melts down worse than Chernobyl."  

THE COMPETITION 5-1

Mike Crown-  A real class act.  Has great form and composure.  This former champion has his sights set on knocking off "The Mechanic" to regain the title.  

Nick Pettis- Took it to the finals last year before being overtaken by Jason Raabe.  A professional mountain biker by trade, Pettis hopes to deliver on his first title this year.

THE MAN  2-1

Jason Raabe-  Raabe is a two-time champion and this year's likely winner.  The only shed of hope for the competition is that little piece of kryptonite I like to call "marriage."  It messed up Tiger Woods for a while.  Is it possible Raabe struggles?.................nah.

Hope to see you all at the tournament!!!!!

Recent Turkey Gobbler Interview

After reading the latest interview with DTM and "Handsome" Dick Crown, I think it's time to set the record straight.  Either the DTM interviewer is hard of hearing or he already had the interview written before we met.  The interview makes me look as though I'm anti-American.  According to Rep. Bachman, that puts me in the same class as Obama.

After talking to DTM they were willing to grant me another interview.  This one also took place at Perkins.

DTM:  We're glad to give you another interview and set the record straight.

HDC:  No problem.  Put your wallet away, I'll get the check.

DTM:  Wow, thanks.  Tell me about last year's tournament which has come to be known as "The Choke."

HDC:  Well you have to understand the history between Mike, The Mechanic, and myself.  Do you know how humiliating it would be for a 67 year old to knock off two young punks?

DTM:  Are you telling me you threw that match?

HDC:  It really goes back to the 2003 Belle Plaine Classic where on the last hole I had to duff 3 shots and 4 putt so those guys could beat me.

DTM:  Any truth to the rumors that some competitors are using banned substances such as Bumetanide?  

HDC:  I'm clean, but I can't speak for the rest of the participants.  All I can say is that every time I call them they are "in the bathroom."

DTM:  That's a pretty strong accusation.

HDC:  I'm a pretty strong competitor.

DTM:  Anything else you'd like to add?

HDC:  Huh?

DTM:  I said, anything else you'd like to add?

HDC:  I just hope I don't have to throw the match again this year.  Gimme that check you son-of-a-buck.

Choke- An Interview with "Handsome"

posted by Raymond Van Barneveld for Dart Throwers Magazine

I was able to take some time to interview "Handsome" Dick Crown to talk about the upcoming dart tourney and recall the meltdown of 2007.  I met Dick at the local Perkins restaurant in Bloomington, MN.

DTM:  Handsome, you had former champ "Multipying " Mike Crown in serious trouble last year when you had multiple chances to close out the match.  What went wrong?

HDC:  Have you seen the prices here?  Do you have some type of coupon for this place?

DTM:  It's o.k.  I have a budget with the magazine.

HDC:  Well, don't forget to mention I'm a Senior Citizen for discount purposes.

DTM:  Ok, thanks.  Tell me a little about the match with your son.

HDC:  I gotta tell ya I felt a little twitch in the elbow and I think that caused me to lose some focus.

DTM:  So you don't think you choked?

HDC:  Heck, no! You son of a buck!

DTM:  Ok, calm down.  How about this year's tourney?  How do you like your chances?

HDC:  I will do fine as long as Kubes does something about the glare in that place.  I never had a glare issue in 88' when I won.

DTM:  Do you think the glare has something to do with cutting off the combover?

HDC:  Did Josh Johnson put you up to this?

DTM:  Who? -  Anyway, thanks for taking the time to visit with me today and good luck in the 2008 tournament.

HDC:  A word of advice- Don't tip too much in this place; 8% is plenty.

DTM-  Ok, thanks.

Champions Corner- An Interview with" The Mechanic"

Posted by Raymond Van Barneveld for Dart Throwers Magazine,

I was able to find a couple minutes to sit down with the reigning champion, Jason "The Mechanic" Raabe for a couple minutes to discuss his big win last year.  I'm surprised I was able to get any time at all considering his schedule that includes 4 full time jobs, a newlywed wife, and a 15 hour a week practice session on Guitar Hero.  

DTM:  Jason, thanks for spending some time with us today.

JR:  Not a problem, but can we keep it short I have to get to work soon.

DTM:  At the Garage?

JR: No

DTM: Golf Course?

JR: No

DTM: Hardware Store?

JR: No, I'm dedicating some of the down time I have to mountain biking and I thought what a great opportunity it would be for me to start learning bike repair.  I work at Erik's Bike shop on Thursday from 1:00 to 1:30.

DTM:  Ok, I'll keep this short.

DTM:  Congratulations on your second dart championship in 3 years.  Tell me what it felt like to bring home the trophy.

JR:  Well, it's kind of like hearing a Chevy 454 big block turn over for the first time.

DTM:  Interesting.

DTM:  How about this year's tourney?  Do you feel any additional pressure knowing that everyone will be gunning for you.

JR:  When you've played expert level "Iron Man" on Guitar Hero with no mistakes you don't spend a bunch of time worrying about pressure.  

DTM:  Any concern about beating "Multiplying" Mike Crown?

JR:  That Cheesehead?  Please

DTM:  By the way congratulations on your marriage to Jenny.

JR:  Thanks, There was a lot of confusion regarding her last name so it just became easier to marry her. 

JR:  I better get going.  When you only have a half hour to work you can't be late.

DTM:  Thanks for the time and good luck.

Dart Tutorial

For anyone wanting to brush up on your dart knowledge, we have a couple links below to YouTube videos--one on 301/501 and another on proper technique.  We're lookin' out for ya!

301 Tutorial

Proper Technique

The Administration

Pregnancy bylaws

posted by Raymond Van Barneveld

Dear Pumpkin Pie,

Unfortunately there is no bylaw that would in any way aid pregnant folks during tournament play.  When you consider all the overweight superstars of the dart world,  it is clear a protruding belly is no hinderance.  Keep in mind your midsection is permitted to cross the throw line and only your foot must stay behind.

Upcoming articles include a 2007 championship recap filled with details of the historic rise of current champion Jason Raabe as well as the tremendous choke job of "Handsome" Dick Crown.  In addition, watch for 2008 predictions and odds for the upcoming tourney.

Thanks for the questions, 

RVB 

301 Rules

Please click the link listed below for 301 rules.

301 Rules

Articles Welcome

If interested in submitting an article for publication on The Gobbler, please send us an email at jcrown@new.rr.com.  Our editors will review all entries in a timely fashion.

Turkey Dart Championship 2008

Posted by Raymond Van Barneveld, Dart Throwers Magazine

Greetings All, 

Wanted to welcome you all to my new blog and make mention of some possible changes within this year's event.  Due to the fact that last year's event clocked in just shy of 13 hours, there will be a game change.  The details are still being hammered out, but more than likely there will be a game called 301 or possibly best two of three 301.  DTM was able to reach Sheila Pettis late last week for comment.

DTM:  How do you feel about the possible change in format from Cricket to 301?

SP:  What?

DTM:  The possible format change?

SP:  Weren't we playing 301 last year?

DTM:  Um no, you should have been targeting certain numbers like 20, 19, 18 etc.

SP:  Huh?

DTM: Forget it.

Anyway, Please check the blog for periodic updates.  Also, please feel to to post comments on your own.  

Regards, 

RVB