Recent Turkey Gobbler Interview

After reading the latest interview with DTM and "Handsome" Dick Crown, I think it's time to set the record straight.  Either the DTM interviewer is hard of hearing or he already had the interview written before we met.  The interview makes me look as though I'm anti-American.  According to Rep. Bachman, that puts me in the same class as Obama.

After talking to DTM they were willing to grant me another interview.  This one also took place at Perkins.

DTM:  We're glad to give you another interview and set the record straight.

HDC:  No problem.  Put your wallet away, I'll get the check.

DTM:  Wow, thanks.  Tell me about last year's tournament which has come to be known as "The Choke."

HDC:  Well you have to understand the history between Mike, The Mechanic, and myself.  Do you know how humiliating it would be for a 67 year old to knock off two young punks?

DTM:  Are you telling me you threw that match?

HDC:  It really goes back to the 2003 Belle Plaine Classic where on the last hole I had to duff 3 shots and 4 putt so those guys could beat me.

DTM:  Any truth to the rumors that some competitors are using banned substances such as Bumetanide?  

HDC:  I'm clean, but I can't speak for the rest of the participants.  All I can say is that every time I call them they are "in the bathroom."

DTM:  That's a pretty strong accusation.

HDC:  I'm a pretty strong competitor.

DTM:  Anything else you'd like to add?

HDC:  Huh?

DTM:  I said, anything else you'd like to add?

HDC:  I just hope I don't have to throw the match again this year.  Gimme that check you son-of-a-buck.